F*ck Yer Resolutions: A Treatise on Post-Capitalist Capricorn
F*ck yer resolutions
〰️
F*ck yer resolutions 〰️
Capricorn season is one of my favorites in the astrological calendar, which is why the Gregorian calendar makes me so full of rage. Co-opted by capitalism and Western hustle culture, we’re tricked into believing that after a while and raucous Sagittarius season ruled by the god of debauchery, we’re supposed to …work harder?!?
So once again this January I’m here to say,
Grump ass cat telling you where to go
Yeah that’s right, fuck em’.
Get out of my cold, sleepy face with your betterment, your weight loss, your exercise, your 30-day yoga, your clean eating. Just no.
Capricorn is ruled by the planet Saturn, that big zaddy in the sky that helps us find our boundaries, hear and say no, and course correct to learn our big lessons in life.
Yes, sometimes he wants us to do things the “right way” but that certainly doesn’t include quick January fixes like buying yet another juicer, Nicole. Saturn wants us to take the slow path, divested from white supremacy-rooted urgency culture, the path that takes patience and a bit more dedication than most of us can muster in January.
I don’t want that juice. I want that apocalypse cake in the middle.
So here is my meditation for you on saying NO this Capricorn season.
Say NO to moving quickly and quick fixes. Capricorn season is for finding your own rhythms again, attuning to the earth and her energies, which is sure as shit not at the gym right now.
Say NO to tying your worth to what you produce. Capricorn does love hard work, but not for the man! Capricorn is in a hobbit hole writing a novel, doing alchemical transformations, dreaming up next moves while watching the snow fall with a cuppa.
Say NO to feeling like you need a clean slate, a start over, or to be pure at the start of the year. Your messy garbage from December is welcome here. That refresh shit is for March.
Say NO to FOMO. Anyone not sitting on their couch snuggling a cat is the one missing out.
Say NO to saying yes. Truly. Practice starting with no, or at least pausing and doing a gut check before you commit to something that isn’t absolutely bringing you joy. Find your own barometer for what ties you to this earth.
After so much grind over the past 3/4ths of the year, it’s time to go dark for a bit with the ol’ wizard/hermit within and recalibrate your way of removing through the world.
Because Saturn rules time, it’s also a good opportunity to evaluate what we give our time to, how we are spending our precious time on this earth. What will the legacy be of our time here?
Homework for this rant/musing:
Write your obituary.
Yeah, dark, I know. This last quadrant of the wheel of the year is the beginning of the end. We’re not in the astral plane of birth and death (Pisces), but Capricorn is planning what our legacy will be when we are gone.
So write a bulleted list or a flowery poem (depending on your own astrological makeup) of what you want to be remembered for on this planet. And if you don’t like what you’ve got cookin’ in this life so far, now’s the time to course correct before that next Saturnal midlife crisis hits.
What that guy said
